God's with us.

I like to re-read, to reflect on my words before sharing, but my son won't let me. Here are my raw thoughts. No eloquence. No editing.

Sunday night was a crazy night, just like Friday and Saturday. It all feels like such a blur. We opened our doors for praise, worship, and healing, and in the chaos that surrounded us, I looked outside to see a man setting up crosses. He had made them, and driven through the night from Illinois. One was made with the Star of David, he even brought extra crosses and stars in case he miss spelled someone’s name or we found out that someone else was Jewish. He adorned the crosses with Beanie Babies, and handmade angel necklaces before heading on his way back home. We didn’t expect this. We aren’t really sure that Ice Cream Heaven is the right place for this display, as we want them to help the community in all ways possible, and we’re not sure they’ll do that on our sleepy lot. But they’re significant symbols in the darkness.

So, we had our time of worship, and I know there was tremendous healing in my own heart during that time. Then we went upstairs to go to bed and get some rest. I woke up around 3:40 with Frank John, and after I had gotten him back to sleep, I looked out the window, and the crosses were gone.

I couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t understand. Had they been offensive? Had someone moved them because they felt they shouldn’t be in the rain? My mind raced for hours until morning when I was able to see them lined up at the base of our house. I knew I had to go fix the display, but I didn’t know how I’d do it with a baby in tow. I prayed, I prayed for peace in my own heart, and that God would send help. As soon as Frank John woke up, I put him into my baby carrier; we bundled up, and headed outside to re-set up the display.

I hadn’t seen the crosses up close until that morning. Originally, I thought they might be plastic, but as I tried to carry them, I realized that they were wood and they were heavy. It’s hard enough to bend over and pick something up with a baby in a front carrier, and when you add the weight, I just wasn’t sure how I’d ever accomplish this. There were some tears shed before I decided I’d do this anyway, regardless of the physical strain.

As I carried these crosses, I was reminded of Simon of Cyrene. Luke tells us, “As the soldiers led him [Jesus] away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.” The crosses I carried were small, not nearly what Jesus and Simon had carried.

As I reflected on this, I noticed a car turnaround in the empty lot across the street. It pulled into our driveway. My first thought was, “great, it’s the press… just what I need.” But a woman, without a camera, stepped out. The first thing she said to me was, “Don’t be afraid.” The same words the angels often (maybe always?) said when they appeared to people in the Bible. Then she told me she lived down the road… that she didn’t have much time… but she asked if she could help me. I told her how grateful I was and that I wasn’t sure what had happened and how upset I was. She comforted me by saying that if someone had been angry or wanted to vandalize, they wouldn’t have put the display away in an orderly manner.

As we set up, actually, I picked the crosses up, and she carried them for me and put them in a line… another neighbor came over to help. Between the three of us, we could do this, and we did.

My message to those hurting and suffering right now is that Jesus can come alongside you and help you carry your cross. Jesus says, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30).  He wants to help.

We’ve seen an outpouring of love and help in many forms. People are showing up from all over the country. I have more personal stories, but not time to write them now. I hope to be able to share more in the next few days. But the message is the same, God is in our suffering and He is caring our burden and carrying us through.